What a tough day???

Yesterday was a really tough day for us!!

First, it was our 23 month LID. I mean when we started this whole adoption process we never thought this program would get this out of hand. It is still sometimes hard for me to comprehend that when we went to our first informational meeting in March 2005....we were told 5.5-6 months after LID to get our referral. By the time we actually submitted our home study and got all of our paperwork completed in December, we were told time frames were increasing to 8-12 months, but they were sure times frames would go back down. Now, here we are 23 months later.....no idea when we will get our daughter, yet, we are committed to this adoption. Our Isabella is very real to us and we could not abandon this little girl for a second time. Which brings me to the very, very tough part of yesterday....

Our doctor is a wonderful lady and she has been trying help us get the family we so desire. Well, yesterday I get a call from her that she knows of 2 little boys in foster care (ages 2 and 4) that need a home. Apparently, their parents' rights are going to be terminated and the foster home that currently has them just can not keep them. It just broke my heart. We would love to take these little guys but to do so would jeopardise our adoption for Bella. We are just too close to our referral to do this.

So Mike and I talked and talked....and kind of came up with a plan.....we will wait for our Bella from China. She is after all already our daughter! If not in fact, than in our hearts. But, after we return home with Bella if these little guys are still available maybe we will look into their situation and try and bring them into our family.

We just can't give up on Bella...the little girl who will be our daughter is already much loved. It feels awful that we must make this choice, but our choice has been made.

I hate being a grown up!!!!